Letters to a daughter from her parents, starting from before she was born

Tuesday, May 28, 2013


Dear baby,
You're only the size of a piece of rice, but you already have a heartbeat, and have turned our lives upside down.  On the way home from the OB office, I decided to start this blog as a place to write you letters, and share this journey of sore breasts, nausea, peeing constantly and the abject terror that filled me when I realized that we were really, finally getting the most amazing opportunity to be your parents.  

We found out we were expecting on Mother's Day, right after we returned from James and Julia's wedding.  I wasn't feeling well, took a test, and was absolutely shocked when, for the first time in my life, I got two lines instead of that one obnoxious teasing pink line that's like the test is sticking it's tongue out and mocking my infertility. I told your dad, and we both looked at each other in shock...and I started downing every liquid I could find so I could pee on my hand again (because really, it's impossible to NOT pee on your hand when you're aiming for a cup), and take two more tests.  Dad told me to take one in the morning, and then he'd be 100% convinced, so when I woke up at 5am having to pee, I woke his reluctant butt up too. 

So imagine this...it's 5am, we just got our 4th positive pregnancy test, and decide that the first people we're going to tell are the friends whose wedding we've just attended, who are both sick and have just flown back from VA to California to leave 24 hours later on their honeymoon. It's 2am, and I figure us finding out we're pregnant is the perfect excuse to call them.  First, they're awake.  Second, when they got engaged, our friend told dad first, so they would be our first.  

I want to say that I love you, but I have to admit that I'm still too worried that I'll lose you to allow myself to bond like that yet, but there was something incredible and magical to see your heartbeating on a screen today. It really looked like little legs kicking super hard...but you don't have legs yet.  I'm so so excited for this journey, but right now I need a nap.

Tired, peeing constantly, sore breasts, tired, nauseous and still tired.

Obligatory photo of my uterus!

Is it wrong that I think it looks like a UFO?
It was great seeing you today!


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