Letters to a daughter from her parents, starting from before she was born

Monday, October 28, 2013

27 week journal

Baby girl,
I'm 28 weeks today, but my schedule is getting hectic, and I didn't get to write this last week.   I can't believe how quickly time is passing.  

How Far Along: 27 weeks

Size of baby: a size of a rutabaga, which I don't believe I've ever had before. They're odd looking.  

Gender: girl

Movement: You're much more active lately. For months you'd kick basically first thing in the morning, a little in the afternoon and before bed. Now it seems like you have a sort of constant low grade activity, depending on what I'm doing and how much sugar I've had.  You've also been doing these odd movements like lots of quick gentle pokes in succession that I can't figure out. Occasionally you'll play up in my ribs...that's a lovely feeling. 

How I'm Changing: The belly is getting bigger, and rounder.  Sleeping is getting a bit more difficult, and I'm having beached whale moments when I struggle to get up off of furniture.   I also think I waddle sometimes.  

Maternity Clothes: I've been wearing the jeans when I go out, but immediately changing back into PJ pants when I get home. I have a long tank top and a maternity tank that I wear under almost all my shirts because nothing I own is long enough otherwise.

How I'm Feeling: T
o put it gently...over emotional and moody.  I'm still having body issues, and putting on clothing in the morning makes me a little sad.  I'm pretty stressed over a wedding coming up really quickly that I'm in, and wondering how I'll be able to do things like run around and stand up all day.  I think I am just overwhelmed just thinking of everything, and I'm having trouble shaking it off.  

Sleep:I'm struggling here. I wake up to use the bathroom or roll over and I'm having a lot of issues going back to sleep. I find that if I take vitamin D before I go to sleep, I have trouble sleeping, but am awake the next day. If I don't take it, I sleep well but feel like crap most of the next day.  I'm not sure there is a happy medium here, and my moodiness is probably related to sleeping poorly at night. Also, Dad won't stop snoring, so he's been frequently kicked out to the guest room.  

What I miss: Fitting into my clothing, not aching, feeling energetic. Ohhh....making long term plans!

What I'm Eating: Food? Right now some soy yogurt and cheese stick. I need protein!  I also have to be careful because I had like 4 days of the worst heartburn of my life.

Cravings: meh...I would love some apple pie, but it's easy to combat a craving when you know YOU are the one that has to make said apple pie to be able to eat it.  

Best Moment this week: Your grandparents bought your nursery furniture! It should be here this week.  I'm so super excited to finally set up the nursery, and put things away. I think it would go a lot way towards helping me feel more settled in all this.  
I also go to take your dad to a pumpkin festival and he rode on his first hay ride.  Next year you can come and see if from the outside;).  

So...to all my friends. I apologize in advance for not being the nicest version of me possible, and also possibly bursting into tears if you point it out. I haven't had too many depression issues this pregnancy, but moderating my moods has been (and frankly always is to an extent) a persistent one.  

Ada....I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait to see your face, and this week Dad even looked up the probability of your eye color.  Please get my eyes, and your father's red hair.  Thanks!! 

You wait a few extra days and you get a picture taken by someone other than me!
A picture of us on the hayride. Dad looks happy to be in the sun.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

26 week journal aka I'm getting huge

How Far Along: 26 weeks

Size of baby: a head of lettuce (
Average size: 13.6-14.8 inches, 1.5-2.2 lb.)

Gender: girl

Movement: Yeah...you've been more active and flippy lately.  You like to kick around bedtime and first thing in the morning, and then in the early evening. 

How I'm Changing: I'm feel humongous. My belly is getting rounder, and I'm feeling more full o baby daily.  

Maternity Clothes: I bought some maternity clothing off of a lady, and I'm glad to pick up some jeans and long sleeved shirts. $25 for a few hundred dollars in clothing. 

How I'm Feeling: I feel like things are coming together actually. Since I last wrote, we found a doula we really liked, and went to the midwife and picked up some schedules for classes they offer.  I think, despite having a really shaky time after my glucose test this morning, I had a really productive afternoon.  

Sleep: I feel like I'm awake every hour or two between having to use the bathroom and dad's snoring. It's annoying...and I think napping it a valid option.  

What I miss: Having energy, not gaining weight faster than I ever have before.

What I'm Eating: Food? Johanna has done an awesome job of making us do things like plan meals, so we have food to eat, and we aren't living off of cereal. Awesome.  

Cravings: crap...generally.

Best Moment this week: I got over my sick!  You're moving more, I got a great deal on some maternity clothing, and we picked out some awesome furniture for you.  

Let's take a moment to marvel at how HUGE my stomach is getting....I may feel waddly

Friday, October 11, 2013

The curse of the B belly

Baby girl,

This post isn't a letter to you per say...it's more of a personal gripe session.

I've been sick this week.  I had, what I thought was a cold, but has turned into something that has caused me to want to use a shopvac to suck out all the mucus in my sinuses and lungs.  That probably wouldn't end well though, so I'm just suffering.  I've been extremely fortunate to have a friend staying with us who is insanely neat (think my disorganized polar opposite), and she likes to do things to help other people. This meant that between her and my husband, I've tea, water, food and tissues on hand.  I'm still feeling whiny though, because I'm just generally sick of feeling crappy.

So I've been wanting to write this blog post for awhile.  I have a confession to make. I hate my pregnant belly, but not for the reasons you might think.  I don't hate it because it's huge, or because random strangers want to pet me. Quite the opposite.  I want the perfect round belly that resembles letter D. Instead, I've been cursed with this "B" belly. It means that I have a band of muscle running around where my belly button is. It allows me to be fat and not look pregnant (whereas some women look pregnant all the time and aren't), but it also means that I'm freaking six months pregnant and just look...fat.  It's FRUSTRATING.  I feel jipped out of having the sort of adorable and adored pregnancy that I wanted.  I have to explain to people that I'm pregnant, and I really do get looks from people that lead me to believe they think I'm lying.  I am 25 weeks pregnant....6 plus months, and instead of looking adorable like this lady:
stolen from a google image search, but she has a perfect round belly...
The top of my belly is what grew immediately. It's really all you see in pictures.  The thing is...that's not even where the baby is.  The baby generally likes to hang out and kick the crap out of my belly button region.  My belly button that will probably never pop, because until the veeeery end, my belly isn't going to pop.

Let's talk about the annoyance of maternity clothing when you have a "B" belly.  Most maternity clothing is meant to cling to your rounded belly. It's meant to accentuate your belly, not hide it.  This means that every piece of maternity clothing from stores like Target fits me like a second skin. It's AWFUL.  The only maternity shirts I own are the t-shirt I'm wearing in the picture below, two maternity shirts my husband bought from thinkgeek that almost immediately got too short (like seriously they shrunk UP six inches wtf?) and two loose tops from motherhood maternity.  The MM shorts are basically...muumuus that I can tie under my bust line so I look really pregnant. Unfortunately with all the weight I've put on in this pregnancy being in the belly to thigh area, they make my hips look ginormous, and not at all attractive.  I have one pair of maternity jeans that actually come over my belly anyways, and then pull up.

The only thing I like about this maternity t-shirt is that it's long enough.  
So...if you've looked at my pregnancy pictures, which I have really only put up for my mother in law who lives across the country, and wondered what's up with the weird belly....it's this. I've been cursed with a "B" belly, and I don't feel like wearing 4 different shirts and belly sleeves to round it out. Surprisingly, with baby heat and all, wearing a bunch of tight stuff around my core isn't comfortable AT ALL.

I feel that I should finish this post by mentioning that there are positives to my "B" belly.  Random people aren't constantly asking me questions, or petting me.  I can still wear my pre-pregnancy sweatpants and a pair of my yoga pants, where I'd normally wear them.   I can bend over and tie my shoes...if I would only wear shoes that required tying.  At this point my uterus, even though I'm carrying baby pretty low, is getting pretty big, so who knows what will happen with my belly in the next few months.  If you're interested though, just google pregnant B belly and see what comes up.

Now I am off to continue sniffling, coughing, sneezing and whining. And you Ada, are up to kicking my intestines and bladder.

Love ya kid,


p.s. Our first doula fell through, so we met with another one today. We both really liked her, so we're going to hire her, and hopefully you'll meet her!

Sunday, October 6, 2013

24 week journal

Baby Ada,

Hello lovely girl. Are you having fun in there? Right now it looks like I'm getting a chest cold. I thought I being all smart and sleeping constantly...yeah, turns out that I was sick and my body isn't letting me do much else. Right now your dad, and his friend are moving lots of furniture so that we can finally set up your nursery! I'm really excited to see how it turns out, but it might not actually be done until December, since it looks like that's when your baby shower will be.  

How Far Along: 24 weeks

Size of baby: A cantaloupe. I take issue with this because cantaloupes and honeydews are the same size in my world, and you won't be a honeydew for a long time (according to the website).  The other comparison is to an ear of corn.  I can't believe how both large and small you are!

Gender: Please still be a Girl!

Movement: You still like to kick when dad talks to you. It's pretty sweet.  You've also been hitting both sides of me at the same time.  I think you are still transverse, but that's okay b/c it's more annoying and painful when you stab my bladder.  I feel your body moving around more as well, not just kicks.

How I'm Changing: Tired, emotional, anti-social. I don't really want to leave the house, and I think I'm done travelling for the rest of this pregnancy.  Driving out to WV was pretty hard on my back, and despite a desire to do more before you arrive, I don't think I have it in me.

Maternity Clothes: I should buy more because what I have isn't doing it unless I never want to leave the house.

How I'm Feeling: I still have niggling anxiety, especially about things like hiring our doula (who has seemingly become uncommunicative lately, which is super stressful), but overall I seem to be okay.

Sleep: I am sleeping like 11-12 hrs a day, but I'm pretty sure that's because I'm sick.  

What I miss: Being able to plan ahead.

What I'm Eating: Today...a large quantity of doughnuts. I woke up at 6:30am, and needed to go buy them.  I'm still not entirely sure why.  When the first place I went to was closed, instead of going home or stopping at a cheap place, I looked up another bakery on my phone.  I'm going to claim it has something to do with the excellent show that was playing on NPR though.

Cravings: Panera chicken noodle soup.  I'm so going there for dinner.

Best Moment this week: Last weekend we went out to WV and seeing our friends was amazing.  They gifted me with a huge amount of baby supplies, and put my heart at ease.  My friend from college also came to stay with us, and has been a huge help.  I'm not sure how many loads of baby clothes laundry were done, but I give her all credit.  Now for organizing them all (yeah right).  

And without further ado....
This week I caught the husband on his way to work,
and asked him to take my picture.  I think you can see the need for long shirts.  

We are getting so excited to see you.  Every time I lay down in bed, I wish I was looking down on your sweet face.  Yes...life is going to be so much more difficult, and stressful when you're born...but I've never wanted anything so badly in my life.  

You are loved,