The curse of the B belly

Baby girl,

This post isn't a letter to you per say...it's more of a personal gripe session.

I've been sick this week.  I had, what I thought was a cold, but has turned into something that has caused me to want to use a shopvac to suck out all the mucus in my sinuses and lungs.  That probably wouldn't end well though, so I'm just suffering.  I've been extremely fortunate to have a friend staying with us who is insanely neat (think my disorganized polar opposite), and she likes to do things to help other people. This meant that between her and my husband, I've tea, water, food and tissues on hand.  I'm still feeling whiny though, because I'm just generally sick of feeling crappy.

So I've been wanting to write this blog post for awhile.  I have a confession to make. I hate my pregnant belly, but not for the reasons you might think.  I don't hate it because it's huge, or because random strangers want to pet me. Quite the opposite.  I want the perfect round belly that resembles letter D. Instead, I've been cursed with this "B" belly. It means that I have a band of muscle running around where my belly button is. It allows me to be fat and not look pregnant (whereas some women look pregnant all the time and aren't), but it also means that I'm freaking six months pregnant and just look...fat.  It's FRUSTRATING.  I feel jipped out of having the sort of adorable and adored pregnancy that I wanted.  I have to explain to people that I'm pregnant, and I really do get looks from people that lead me to believe they think I'm lying.  I am 25 weeks pregnant....6 plus months, and instead of looking adorable like this lady:

stolen from a google image search, but she has a perfect round belly...

The top of my belly is what grew immediately. It's really all you see in pictures.  The thing is...that's not even where the baby is.  The baby generally likes to hang out and kick the crap out of my belly button region.  My belly button that will probably never pop, because until the veeeery end, my belly isn't going to pop.

Let's talk about the annoyance of maternity clothing when you have a "B" belly.  Most maternity clothing is meant to cling to your rounded belly. It's meant to accentuate your belly, not hide it.  This means that every piece of maternity clothing from stores like Target fits me like a second skin. It's AWFUL.  The only maternity shirts I own are the t-shirt I'm wearing in the picture below, two maternity shirts my husband bought from thinkgeek that almost immediately got too short (like seriously they shrunk UP six inches wtf?) and two loose tops from motherhood maternity.  The MM shorts are basically...muumuus that I can tie under my bust line so I look really pregnant. Unfortunately with all the weight I've put on in this pregnancy being in the belly to thigh area, they make my hips look ginormous, and not at all attractive.  I have one pair of maternity jeans that actually come over my belly anyways, and then pull up.

The only thing I like about this maternity t-shirt is that it's long enough.  

So...if you've looked at my pregnancy pictures, which I have really only put up for my mother in law who lives across the country, and wondered what's up with the weird belly....it's this. I've been cursed with a "B" belly, and I don't feel like wearing 4 different shirts and belly sleeves to round it out. Surprisingly, with baby heat and all, wearing a bunch of tight stuff around my core isn't comfortable AT ALL.

I feel that I should finish this post by mentioning that there are positives to my "B" belly.  Random people aren't constantly asking me questions, or petting me.  I can still wear my pre-pregnancy sweatpants and a pair of my yoga pants, where I'd normally wear them.   I can bend over and tie my shoes...if I would only wear shoes that required tying.  At this point my uterus, even though I'm carrying baby pretty low, is getting pretty big, so who knows what will happen with my belly in the next few months.  If you're interested though, just google pregnant B belly and see what comes up.

Now I am off to continue sniffling, coughing, sneezing and whining. And you Ada, are up to kicking my intestines and bladder.

Love ya kid,

Mom

p.s. Our first doula fell through, so we met with another one today. We both really liked her, so we're going to hire her, and hopefully you'll meet her!