Letters to a daughter from her parents, starting from before she was born

Friday, September 27, 2013

23 week journal

How Far Along: 23 weeks

Size of baby:  A grapefruit!  Which I actually had one of, so I took this picture:

Ada is the squirmiest grapefruit that ever existed!

Gender: Girl! 

Movement: You've been more nocturnal lately.  It's funny if I lay on my side because then you'll kick the bed. I'm feeling you kick above my belly button now, although not much.  You sometimes do this flutter thing where you kick on either side (which is odd feeling), and sometimes you stick to kicking by my belly button, which is easiest to feel.  

How I'm Changing:  More heartburn

Maternity Clothes: I've taken to wearing long tank tops under my old shirts so that they're long enough.   

How I'm Feeling: anxious sometimes, tired. I have had a stomachache the last two days, but I think it's on it's way out. I'm not sure, but it could be related to the ridiculous heartburn I've had. 

Sleep: I'm falling asleep easily, but when I wake up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I've had issues falling back asleep.  I also woke up this morning at 5:30 (and yesterday at 7) and was wide awake.  I'm not sure why... 

What I miss: . This week I miss being in control.  

What I'm Eating: Food!  

Cravings: Soup...always tastes incredible (chicken noodle).  I crave french fries and coke.   

Best Moment this week: When dad put his head on my belly and said "Hi Ada" and you kicked him really hard. Then he said it again, and you kicked him again! Actually 3 times!  My friend Stephanie felt you kick yesterday too!! Wonderful:)  

Yet another shot of my toilet...and me.  

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Reasons my mommy is crying...


Most people have seen the website Reasons My Son is Crying. It's hilarious, right?  Well, it got just a little less hilarious for me when I became pregnant, and apparently turned into a toddler.  I actually remember watching a commercial for a new medication that cured a disorder (perhaps the pseudobulbar affect) where you cry for no reason, and said out loud, (to an empty room) "OMG a commercial just gave me a disorder!"  Alas, I'm only pregnant and full of more hormones than should be legal, pretty much ever.

So I started to compile a list...of the random, and ridiculous crap that has made me cry.  A lunch with a friend yesterday reminded me of the list, and I decided to share it with you.  Feel free to laugh your butt off at my expense.

Here are some funny ones 
  • Cake Boss talking about Hurricane Sandy...
  • Thinking too hard about kittens (no, seriously, your father thought it was HILARIOUS to say cutsie crap in a baby voice and watch me tear up).  
  • An insurance commercial with a pregnant lady.  Oh yeah...that totally got me.
  • An argument we had over talking too much/long before we go to sleep
  • A story on NPR about a teen with arthritis
  • Let's be serious here, pretty much ANY human interest story
  • Last night...a Guinness commercial with a dude in a wheelchair. And because I'm a jerk and want all of you chumps to cry too, please watch it here
  • I've cried because I've laughed so hard at fart jokes (welcome to our family Ada!) 
  • I sang to you, my love, with tears running down my face.  
  • I cried last night when Dad leaned over and put his head on my belly and said "Good night Ada!" and you kicked him in the head.  And he said "Good night Ada" again, and you kicked him again!  And...I'm crying now thinking about it.  

Here are some more serious ones
  • Worried about my baby shower not getting planned (I have this serious 'nobody loves me complex' that I need to work on)
  • Being scared about having no idea what I'm doing (like anyone really does?)
  • Aaron getting home late from work (in my defense, it was like 1 am...)
  • Being tired and not able to do all of the things I want to do (this is a daily battle)
  • I've cried because I can't stop crying.
Every pregnant woman has stories of the random things this rush of cry hormones has done to her, but I've discovered, in a weird way, all of this crying to be cathartic. My entire life, I was told to hold the tears back, and that they showed some sort of weakness, but it isn't true.  While I don't want to cry those gut wrenching, you wish you were dead tears ever again, those tears rolling down my cheeks when you kicked your dad, those tears when I sing to you, the tears in my eyes now...those tears are welcome.  They bring a sense of calm and humility to me, because my body is making a freaking miracle, and I have almost no control over it.  It's pretty damn humbling.  

To all my friends: What made you cry when you were pregnant? 

Weepy mom

Monday, September 23, 2013

22 week journal

Ada babe,
Having fun in there? My bladder and intestines are wondering what the holy hell sorta party you're throwing, but it's fun to feel your kicks!

How Far Along: 22

Size of baby: We're in papaya land. Baby center says "At 11 inches and almost 1 pound (about the size of a spaghetti squash), your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment."

Gender: girl!

Movement: More and more every day! You were quite squiggly yesterday.

How I'm Changing: My belly is definitely getting bigger. I 'feel' more pregnant than I did before.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Like I'm going to post this?

Maternity Clothes: I have two pairs of sweats, and a pair of yoga pants I generally wear. I've got two or three nice maternity shirts and still only one pair of jeans. I have discovered that long tank tops are saving my butt with my rapidly shortening shirts.

How I'm Feeling: weepy...and fat.  Other than that, fantastical. I was feeling jipped out of looking pregnant, but I just looked at a picture I took this morning and I look pretty pregnant.

Sleep: meh, rolling over is really hard. I'm thinking we should probably get a new mattress that doesn't require an OMG thick mattress pad and memory foam to make it comfortable. Maybe then I could like...roll over and not feel like I've run a marathon? It's a thought. 

What I miss: Not feeling like there is an ominous clock going 'tick tock running outta baby free time!' going on constantly.

What I'm Eating: All the apple cider I can, and lots of pumpkin stuff. I love fall.

Cravings: French fries. I'm not sure why.

Best Moment this week: We had a lovely meeting with the midwife, and you booted your dad in the head. I call it a winning sorta week.

Okay...this was actually taken today, at day 1 of week 23, but whatever. 
Love ya kiddo!

Friday, September 13, 2013

21 week journal

Baby girl,
I'm getting more and more excited to meet you.  And wondering when we'll get even half of the things done that we're supposed to before you come.  Actually, I think you could show up today (full formed/gestated and healthy!!) and we'd be fine.  Our next midwife appointment is in a week. I'll probably do the update after that.

How Far Along: 21 weeks, 4 days (I took the picture today)

Size of baby:  One website claims you're the size of a carrot, another a pomegranate. I prefer the pomegranate. From head to toe, you're 10.5 inches long (HOLY CRAP REALLY?! It seems like yesterday they were measuring you in less than inches!), and 12.7oz.  Kid...you're getting sorta big.

Gender: Girl, girl, girl, girl...did I mention you're a baby GIRRLLLLL.  And if you come out and you're a boy, I'm still dressing you in a lot of pink/purple stuff because that's what people are giving me!

Movement:  You really like kicking to the right of my belly button, and sometimes my bladder.  Sometimes you do a one two punch, which is amusing and odd.  You REALLY kick hard when a kitty lays across my belly. I can't decide if you love or hate the eat.

How I'm Changing:  Belly is getting bigger, back/hips ache more, baby is moving more, I'm sick of hormones making me cry.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I find out when I go to the midwife next week   

Maternity Clothes: Some, but mostly yoga pants, and sweats.

How I'm Feeling: moody, needy, tired.

Sleep: my lower back is starting to be rather sore, and sometimes when I roll over on my side, it sorta feels like the baby wants to fall out, but once I'm asleep...I'm out.

What I miss: Energy, consistent exercise, losing weight, airplane seatbelts fitting comfortably.

What I'm Eating: Nothing special

Cravings: Not really.  I would love some cider right now, but our grocery store didn't have any.

Best Moment this week: Probably getting kicked by you! I'll enjoy it while it doesn't hurt, or make me have to pee.
Annnnd your obligatory bathroom picture.  Yep this is what I
am giving my daughter to remember this pregnancy by.  

Friday, September 6, 2013

Gender Reveal party decorations

I don't have too many pictures--since I was too busy eating, socializing and wrangling, but here are some pictures of the decorations at your party.


Near the front door!

Into the living room.  We also put up lots of lanterns and filled
up the chandelier with paper flowers.

It should have said, what will YOU be....but I was too
lazy to change it. I loved the He Man though:)

My he/she bars...I didn't get one :(

20 week journal

Sweet baby girl,
I love feeling your little kicks and punches inside of me. It's so sweet now...when it doesn't hurt or wake me up or break my ribs.  Weirdly, it took finding out your gender for me to become really excited...or for this to feel really 'real.'  It is real, and I can't wait to have you here, even if you ruin everything in the best way.  

How Far Along: 20.5 weeks. I should start doing these earlier in the week, probably.  

Size of baby:  A banana. Seriously? I'm starting to really hate these comparisons. Average fetus is 6.5in long and weighs 10.6oz

Gender: Girl girl girl girl girl girl girllll. Did you hear we're having a baby girl?  For the record, the first things that were said after she told us were (in this order). "Dammit, your dad was right?" Because we knew he's be smug about it (he was).  And "Thank GOD! We couldn't come up with a boy's name anyways!!"

Movement:  Yeppers. I can feel kicks now and then. Occasionally she flips around and it feels like snakes are loose my stomach, but not terribly often.  Oh look...she just kicked. 

How I'm Changing:  My belly is seriously growing DAILY now, after it didn't feel like it had yet.  

Total Weight Gain/Loss:   I haven't stepped on the scale since my last midwives appointment and don't plan on it until my next.  

Maternity Clothes:    my friend gave me some more, but most of it is nursing shirts. I really need to invest in some more pants. Even my sweats are going to start getting snug soon.  

How I'm Feeling: Exhausted. I need to start taking iron. I don't find it acceptable to be tired 90% of the time that I'm awake. I'm also really grouchy/hormonal/bitchy/crying.  Last night I had a bit of a meltdown and cried hysterically after Newton scratched me.  Yeah, I'm pregnant but the crying crap can stop already. 
I'm also suffering from just feeling utterly overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed about having a baby, and everything that needs to be done before she gets here, that I 

Sleep: I wake up around 3am to use the bathroom. I try laying on my side, but it feels like my stomach is going to fall off. It's just weird. I generally sleep on my left side or end up on my back, b/c it doesn't hurt then.  I'm not sleeping enough. Ideally, I'd sleep from 10-11pm-9am.  Lately, (last night) was more like 12am-7:30, and I was exhausted for it.  I can't take naps. I don't really get why 8 hours of sleep leaves me feeling like 4 hours of sleep did before I got pregnant.  

What I miss: Energy, not crying. 

What I'm Eating: Lately I've really wanted soup.  I made some beef stew the other night and that was lovely.  I also love apples.  

Cravings: not really. 

Best Moment this week: As utterly overwhelming as it was, I've been having fun working on your gift registry.  I'm so happy we know that you're a little girl, and that we have a name, and so many people around us supporting us.  

And because I know you wanted another bathroom shot:



Sunday, September 1, 2013

19 week journal (I heart hugs!)

Ohhhh baby, 
What a week we've had!  We found out your sex, then we had a party to share and celebrate the news with our friends.  I was convinced that you were a boy. Utterly convinced, since there are no girls in Dad's family. I was umm...very wrong.  You are a GIRL!  We were so thrilled to find out, and you decided you were happy too, and on the same day we found out that we were having a baby girl, I started to really feel your kicks.  You feel like a little snakes, or bouncy balls, or maybe a little worm. I certainly didn't feel any lady-like 'flutters.'  I ignored the movement for weeks because I just figured it was my intestines and I'd wait until I could feel it better.

The party was a wonderful success and I'll write more about it this week, and include some pictures.

How Far Along: 19 (actually I'll be 20 tomorrow, but I took my picture earlier in the week)

Size of baby: This week's fruit is a mango!  Average length of 6.0 inches, and 8.5oz!

Gender: You are a very bouncy baby girl!

Movement:  Yep! It started on Thursday, and has been getting stronger, or at least more frequently every day. I think it helped to see the ultrasound and realize that where I was feeling things was where your feet were.  I know you've flipped a few times though (b/c that feels like eels...and then I get kicked somewhere else)

How I'm Changing: My belly is definitely getting rounder and bigger. I'm getting heartburn much more easily.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'm not looking at a scale.

Maternity Clothes: My one pair of jeans, and two nice shirts. I have a wonderful friend who actually gave me two bags full of clothing I need to go through.

How I'm Feeling: Exhausted.  It took me until noon to really 'wake up' today, and after yesterday's party, we've been lazying about watching TV and playing board games.

Sleep: I like sleep.  I don't have leg cramps or any issues like that.  I do tend to wake up on my back, then roll over and suddenly really really need to use the restroom.

What I miss: Energy.  I like that I set my sights a lot lower on how clean my house would be for this party, because it left me much less stressed, but I still need to eventually clean up after the party.

What I'm Eating: I've been trying to get enough protein, but not really doing a good job lately.

Cravings: My only regret about yesterday is that I didn't save any of the Hershey bars, and no one brought me brownies.  Chocolate has been a pretty encompassing pregnancy desire. Today I wanted garlic bread as well.  I have no desire for fruit snacks (they gave me horrible stomach aches) or goldfish (ugh on the heartburn)

Best Moment this week: We found out that we're having a girl!! We were also able to share this news with our friends and family, which was an amazing opportunity. I was also able to go do to DC to visit with two college friends and share an awesome afternoon with them.  It was so refreshing, and fun.
I just loved this picture.  It sums up Newton's favorite position when he's feeling lovey--it involves mooching off my baby heat.  He knows a good thing when he sees it.!

My friend Kate took this picture in H&M after I picked up the shirt, and without realizing, said loudly, "I heart hugs too!!"  I think my adorableness overwhelmed her.

Apologies for the bathroom shot (but it's sort of become my 'thing' at this point).  I'm not that much different than the week before, but the jeans sorta suck stuff in.  I'm not sure why I'm concentrating quite so hard though.