Letters to a daughter from her parents, starting from before she was born

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Great expectations

Dear Baby,

First of all, although I've been conspicuously absent from this blog so far, I promise I'll be very present in your life once you've been born. Just thinking of all the anxious, sleepless nights and diaper changes in store for us over the next couple of years is enough to make me cry (with...joy?).

You were a surprise, but one we had been fervently hoping for. So far, your arrival has mostly resulted in your mom and I staring at each other in excited disbelief asking "What do we do now?!", some extra visits to doctors and midwives, research and reading, some changes in your mom's moods and the food, medicines, and vitamins she can take, and apparently her body is rearranging itself to make room for you and prepare for your emergence into the world.

I know you're there, but for the most part, you're a concept for me at this point; an idea that is becoming a reality, one that will drastically change our lives in ways we cannot even imagine yet. Sometimes, I get glimpses of you; feeling the hard, round ball you're growing in beneath your mom's belly, or when we go to the midwife and get to hear your fast little heartbeat.

We've had two sonograms of you so far, and another one coming up soon. In the first one, you were almost imperceptible; a tiny grain of rice with a life of its own. In the second, you were amazingly human - arms and legs, jumping around in response to the poking of the technician, sucking your thumb and even waving at us from the womb. It was sobering, to see how real the idea of you was becoming.

We'll know soon if you're a boy or a girl. At least, we hope to know soon, since we've got  a party scheduled this weekend to tell all our friends. It'll be a little embarrassing if we have to admit we don't know, so please do us a favor and cooperate with the technician to show us your bits, ok?

You've been the subject of much thought and conversation already, and you're only halfway towards being born. What will the rest of your life consist of? How will you affect the lives of others? What legacy will you leave behind?

We hope to influence that, but only you can control it.

No pressure or anything.




  1. You're such a wonderful, kind, sweet and loving husband. I couldn't ask for a better one to get me food when I'm hungry and exhausted, rub my back, and listen to me chatter incessantly. You're going to be the best father any child could hope for.

  2. Welcome to the wonderful world of parenthood! It only gets better ... and worse, more joyful ... and more frustrating, clearer ... and more confusing, more taxing ... and more rewarding, from here. You'll now spend the rest of your life trying to live up to your own expectations of what a father should be and do and never quite succeeding at it. Sometimes a spark of success and at others, dismal failure in your own eyes. Being a father is the most incredible of gifts, a true joy and a chance to help another being become all that they are able to become with your guidance, support and assistance and sometimes in spite of it. When it is time years from now, your ability to release the tether and let your little bird fly off into the world will demonstrate the success of what you were able to share with them and for them. But one thing above all ... LOVE them with all of your heart, all of your hopes and all of your being. THAT is what being a father is all about!